8:00: Welcome to part 3 of the Monster Saturday Running Diary. I’m running on fumes here, I’m going to try to give you some good information. First, some final scores from early: Miami 24 Ohio St 36, Florida St 17 Oklahoma 47 (Mark Stoops fix!), Iowa won, Air Force won, Utah won and California won. This late slate of television consists of Oregon at Tennessee, Penn St. at Alabama, LSU at Vanderbilt and the movie Hitch (it’s a good movie.)
8:15: Alabama has been in firm control of this game, not a surprise to me. Penn St. was close to bringing it to within a touchdown but then there was a crazy sequence of fumbles that is way to hard to explain so I’ll leave it at that. Meanwhile, Oregon and Tennessee are in a lightning delay. This is like the 3rd time I can remember this happening ever.
8:18: Trent Richardson is gashing this Penn St. defense. He will be a better pro than his teammate Mark Ingram.
8:21: This game features the oldest referee ever. He makes Lee Corso look young. Alabama is up 17-0. And what do you know, Tennessee and Oregon are still in a delay. So ESPN2 is kind enough to give us bonus coverage of LSU and Vanderbilt.
8:24: Upset watch! Wyoming has a 7-6 lead on Texas.
8:28: Strong run by Texas runningback Foswhitt Whittaker for the touchdown. Broke 4 tackles on his way there. Texas needed an answer and they got one.
8:34: Arkansas leads Louisiana-Monroe 7-0 at half. I expected Arkansas to be putting up a lot more points in this game. They have a pretty dynamic offense. I might need to flip to this one in the second half to check it out.
8:37: 17-0 Alabama leads at halftime. Erin Andrews is interviewing Joe Paterno. Has there ever been 2 people involved in an interview who look less alike? I don’t think so. Well, any Michael Jackson interview after 2000 is right up there.
8:42: Texas scores again and leads 20-7 at halftime. Mack Brown is sweaty. I figured you should know.
8:44: Hey! Oregon and Tennessee are playing again. Tennessee is up 6-3. Crowd is pretty riled up. I expect Oregon to eventually turn this one into a blow out.
8:54: Ummm, that blow out might not be the way it turns out. It turns out Oregon can’t stop the run. Tennessee scores and now leads 13-3. Time to check out Arkansas. Ryan Mallett is a dark horse Heisman Candidate. If Arkansas can put together a good season he could be in contention come November.
8:57: The Razorbacks had to punt on their first possession of the 2nd half. I’m very surprised.
9:00: Alabama kicking off to start the 2nd half. Penn St. absolutely needs a score on their opening drive to stay in this game.
9:09: Arkansas finally gets another touchdown, and Penn St. freshman quarterback Robbie Bolden threw a crucial interception. Tough situation for a freshman quarterback to be in.
9:18: Alabama can’t get anything going on offense. Penn St. NEEDS to capitalize. But they don’t. Dropped passes on 3rd downs are killers.
9:23: Oregon kicks another field goal, 13-6 Tennessee leads. I’m shocked with this score. Oregon’s offense was dynamite last week. Now it’s like a fire sparkler.
9:32: Alabama running some offense out of the Pistol. 5 years ago when I jumped on the Nevada bandwagon everyone thought I was crazy. Now every team uses the Pistol. It’s an innovative and effective formation. I knew this long before you did.
9:44: Oregon and Tennessee are tied at 13 going into half time. Things might be turning the ducks way.
9:52: Just so everyone knows, in my first 2 weeks of picking college football games with the spread on Yahoo Sports, I’m 16-13… Not sure if that is good or bad.
9:55: Penn St. is finally on the board with a field goal. 24-3 Alabama leads with under 10 to go. In more important news, the WNBA finals are starting tomorrow at 3 p.m. Very nice of ABC to put that crucial game on the same Sunday as the first week of NFL. I wonder how tough of a decision it was to take a Lost re-run out of that time slot.
10:05: Oregon and Tennessee are back to action. This game is going to be the one that carries the running diary down the home stretch.
10:14: Alabama wins easily 24-3. That was a dominant performance, which was to be expected.
10:20: Best run of the day so far. LaMichael James reverses his field, breaks a few tackles and out runs everyone. 72 yard touchdown run. Blow out is a potential outcome once again.
10:27: Tennessee is driving on Oregon. I don’t like Tennessee, but love the fight song. There is something about Rocky Top that appeals to me.
10:30: Yupp, I knew this was going to end up a blowout. Oregon pick six, Tennessee is crapping their pants.
10:37: I miss Jeremiah Massoli and LeGarrette Blount playing for Oregon. Had to be the worst role model backfield in recent college football history. That’s like if Mike Vick and Travis Henry ever played for the same team.
10:39: Another game is on, how weird. UCLA hosts Stanford. I would be much more interested in this game if Toby Gerhart was playing. If he would have been drafted by any team but Minnesota I would have pursued buying his jersey.
10:48: God! I just realized I missed all of Hitch on TBS! That bums me out. Such a good movie. On the bright side, we got Virginia visiting USC. However this game doesn’t matter considering everything USC does for this year will end up not really happening. You know, because they cheated? The Heisman should have belonged to Vince Young right from the start, then he proved it in the Rose Bowl, and now he should be rewarded for it. I just need to say, I love this concept that when a school does something wrong in the course of the season the NCAA decides it never happened. Technically, players like Reggie Bush and Derrick Rose never played college sports. Imagine if everything was like that. Would we even acknowledge that George W. Bush was President or would we just assume we mysteriously ended up trillions of dollars in debt?
10:55: Oregon touchdown, 21 point lead now. I never doubted this would be a blowout!
10:58: Yumm, I love the taste of Pink Ladies in my mouth… Apples you perverts!
11:02: Oregon punt return for touchdown. 41-13 the Quack Attack leads! Man was I right on with the blowout prediction.
Well since Oregon has this game in control, and the USC game is technically not happening, I’m going to call it a night. A few closing thoughts:
1. Boise St. is really going to end up getting the shaft. They are going to go 12-0 and miss out on a chance for a BCS title because Virginia Tech crapped the bed against James Madison today. They are going to go on to beat a BCS conference school in another BCS bowl, and the same story will occur next year. This team needs to get some respect. Frankly, I would take them over any team in the country.
2. The ACC is really struggling. I thought this would be a huge year for the ACC. I thought Miami, Florida St., Virginia Tech, North Carolina and Georgia Tech would all be ultra competitive this year. It turns out none of them have a winning record as of right now.
3. I saw a number of Heisman Trophy candidates today. Terrelle Pryor, DeMarco Murray, Trent Richardson, LaMichael James and the most impressive player of the day, Denard Robinson.
Overall, today was a successful day. But tomorrow is a new day, and I am even more excited for the start of NFL. No running diaries tomorrow. It’s all pleasure tomorrow. So I leave you with one question:
ARE YOU READY FOR MORE FOOTBALL?
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Monster Saturday Running Diary part 2
4:00: We are back for part two of the Monster Saturday Running Diary! A couple of final scores from part one. Duke 48 Wake Forest 54, USF 14 Florida 38 and Virginia Tech is trailing at home to former US President James Madison. We have 4 quality sporting events to watch during this diary.
1. Miami FL at Ohio St.- In my opinion this is the best game of the week. 2 Championship contenders with 2 Heisman candidates (Terrelle Pryor and Jacory Harris.) I’m hoping for a Miami win, and I think it will happen. Is there anyway a team from Ohio could beat a team from Florida in this sporting season? I don’t think so.
2. Michigan at Notre Dame- For some reason I am very intrigued by this game. I think it is because both teams are mysteries at this point. We don’t know how good either of these teams are. We’ll find out today.
3. Florida St. at Oklahoma- The Stoops Bowl! Oklahoma trying to come off an unimpressive win last week. Florida St. is trying to get a second win in the Jimbo Fisher era.
4. Roger Federer vs. Novak Djokovic- U.S. Open Semifinals matchup to see who faces Rafa Nadal in the championship. Federer has been my man for years. He finds his way into the Monster Saturday Rotation.
4:05: Awesome starts to all of these games. Miami leads 7-3, FSU and Oklahoma are tied at 7, and so are Michigan and Notre Dame. Virginia Tech just went down to James Madison. All I can say is Monster Saturday!
4:12: Oklahoma goes up 14-7 late in the first quarter. Are we sure that Mark Stoops isn’t really working for his brother?
4:15: If Florida St. and Miami both lose today, it has to be one of the worst days in ACC football history. Georgia Tech went down to Kansas, VT lost to James Madison. That would mean the projected top 4 teams in the conference all lost. Yikes.
4:21: Denard Robinson might be a dark horse Heisman Candidate. If Michigan gets a win today, then go on to make a splash in the Big Ten and he continues to play like he did last week, there is no reason why his name shouldn’t be mentioned.
4:25: Turkey 79 Serbia 77, with 58 seconds left. I should be a bookie. My lines so far today (U.S. -17 winning by 15, and Turkey -3) have been impressive to say the least.
4:28: WOW! The Turkey crowd is stunned! Excellent ball movement leads to Serbia taking the lead 82-81. Boy did I flip to this game at a good time. To lighten up this tense game, they just showed a Turkish fan crying. That was funny. And another WOW! On a broken play Turkey scores a layup with 0.5 seconds left. This is absolute madness. My god international basketball is crazy! Game isn’t over yet though.
4:33: Serbia goes for an alley-oop off the inbounds pass but it’s blocked. A foul could have probably been called, but the country of Turkey may have revolted if they lost in that fashion.
4:35: Ohio St. tied the game up at 10. Florida St. is trailing to the Stoops brothers 21-7, and Michigan leads Notre Dame 14-7. I smell Chicken Parmesan cooking. This excites the hell out of me. Be back after dinner.
5:05: God I love being Italian! Dinner was excellent, no surprise. Miami scores on special teams again, this time with a punt return and momentum has suddenly swung in Miami’s favor. They still trail 20-17. Jim Tressel and his sweater vest look on in disbelief.
5:10: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Denard Robinson is a legitimate Heisman Candidate. 87 yard touchdown run puts the Wolverines up 21-7. He will keep this play up all year.
5:12: Federer goes up 2 sets to 1. Breaks Djokovic in the 3rd set, wins it 7-5. He’s excited and so am I.
5:15: Nate Montana (Joe Montana’s son) is in the game for an injured Dane Crist. To no one’s surprise he isn’t as good as his dad. He throws the ball clear out of the endzone on the last play of the half.
5:22: So much for momentum being on Miami’s side. Ohio St. kicks a field goal to go up 23-17, and then on the first play of Miami’s drive Jacory Harris throws his third interception of the half. Leads to an Ohio St. field goal. It’s 26-17 going to halftime.
5:37: All 3 marquee games are at halftime. Federer is struggling in the 4th set. I do not like this one bit.
5:43: Federer and Djokovic going to the 5th set. This might be priority number one right now on the television despite the fact that the 2nd halves are going to be starting.
5:49: Michigan and Notre Dame is going to end up being the game to watch. Dane Crist returns and throws a touchdown pass. 21-14 Michigan lead. Denard Robinson is up next!
5:56: Federer up 2-1 in the 5th set and Notre Dame driving with the ball trailing 21-14. Monster Saturday!
6:02: Score updates: Michigan 21 Notre Dame 17, Miami 17 Ohio St. 33, Florida St. 7 Oklahoma 41 and Federer and Djokovic are tied 2-2 in the 5th set.
6:17: I think the U.S. Open uses grown men to be the ball boys. The guys running across the court to retrieve the balls don’t really look like “boys.” Federer cannot put Djokovic away to go up 4-3.
6:18: Finally! 4-3 Federer in the 5th.
6:24: Federer and Djokovic knotted at 4 in the 5th set, Michigan leads by 4 going into the 4th quarter. All we need is Gus Johnson calling both games from CBS Studios. Just imagine it:
Gus: “Federer serving… Djokovic returns. Ohhhh Federer slams it! HA HA HA! You just can’t beat the Maestro! CBS Sports, this is the US Open.”
6:28: I can’t stop drooling over how awesome it is to watch Denard Robinson. He just turned a designed run into a pass for a first down. If he learns how to throw like an actual quarterback he would be virtually unstoppable.
6:38: Djokovic ties it again at 5-5 in the 5th set. Notre Dame is trailing by 4 points. I am getting dizzy from changing the channel so much.
6:42: Djokovic breaks Federer, I might cry. Novak leads 6-5 with the serve in the 5th set. No joke, I might cry.
6:52: Federer loses. I need 15 minutes.
6:55: Okay I only took 3 because Notre Dame launched a 95 touchdown. Wow this game is cheering me up. Monster Saturday! Man up Sonny!
7:03: 4th and short for Michigan. Denard Robinson time!
7:03: 1st down Michigan! Is it weird that I have a Vince Young feeling about this kid? Like there is no way he is going to lose this game because he can beat you with his feet or his arm.
7:11: As Michigan at Notre Dame is at commercial, Penn St. at Alabama are about to kick off. I think that game has potential to get ugly in favor of the Tide.
7:13: I don’t think I need to say who scored the go ahead touchdown Michigan… But I will, Denard Robinson! Your future Heisman Trophy winner.
7:18: 6 seconds left, Notre Dame has about 30 yards to go. They are down 4 so they need a touchdown (I know this because our announce team has told us about 6 times since Notre Dame got the ball 4 minutes ago.)
7:19: What’s with these Notre Dame quarterbacks throwing the ball out of the endzone on the last plays of the half? Maybe the least dramatic Hail Mary attempt ever. Great game though. Michigan wins 28-24. Time to take a break. Be back for part 3 in a bit.
1. Miami FL at Ohio St.- In my opinion this is the best game of the week. 2 Championship contenders with 2 Heisman candidates (Terrelle Pryor and Jacory Harris.) I’m hoping for a Miami win, and I think it will happen. Is there anyway a team from Ohio could beat a team from Florida in this sporting season? I don’t think so.
2. Michigan at Notre Dame- For some reason I am very intrigued by this game. I think it is because both teams are mysteries at this point. We don’t know how good either of these teams are. We’ll find out today.
3. Florida St. at Oklahoma- The Stoops Bowl! Oklahoma trying to come off an unimpressive win last week. Florida St. is trying to get a second win in the Jimbo Fisher era.
4. Roger Federer vs. Novak Djokovic- U.S. Open Semifinals matchup to see who faces Rafa Nadal in the championship. Federer has been my man for years. He finds his way into the Monster Saturday Rotation.
4:05: Awesome starts to all of these games. Miami leads 7-3, FSU and Oklahoma are tied at 7, and so are Michigan and Notre Dame. Virginia Tech just went down to James Madison. All I can say is Monster Saturday!
4:12: Oklahoma goes up 14-7 late in the first quarter. Are we sure that Mark Stoops isn’t really working for his brother?
4:15: If Florida St. and Miami both lose today, it has to be one of the worst days in ACC football history. Georgia Tech went down to Kansas, VT lost to James Madison. That would mean the projected top 4 teams in the conference all lost. Yikes.
4:21: Denard Robinson might be a dark horse Heisman Candidate. If Michigan gets a win today, then go on to make a splash in the Big Ten and he continues to play like he did last week, there is no reason why his name shouldn’t be mentioned.
4:25: Turkey 79 Serbia 77, with 58 seconds left. I should be a bookie. My lines so far today (U.S. -17 winning by 15, and Turkey -3) have been impressive to say the least.
4:28: WOW! The Turkey crowd is stunned! Excellent ball movement leads to Serbia taking the lead 82-81. Boy did I flip to this game at a good time. To lighten up this tense game, they just showed a Turkish fan crying. That was funny. And another WOW! On a broken play Turkey scores a layup with 0.5 seconds left. This is absolute madness. My god international basketball is crazy! Game isn’t over yet though.
4:33: Serbia goes for an alley-oop off the inbounds pass but it’s blocked. A foul could have probably been called, but the country of Turkey may have revolted if they lost in that fashion.
4:35: Ohio St. tied the game up at 10. Florida St. is trailing to the Stoops brothers 21-7, and Michigan leads Notre Dame 14-7. I smell Chicken Parmesan cooking. This excites the hell out of me. Be back after dinner.
5:05: God I love being Italian! Dinner was excellent, no surprise. Miami scores on special teams again, this time with a punt return and momentum has suddenly swung in Miami’s favor. They still trail 20-17. Jim Tressel and his sweater vest look on in disbelief.
5:10: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Denard Robinson is a legitimate Heisman Candidate. 87 yard touchdown run puts the Wolverines up 21-7. He will keep this play up all year.
5:12: Federer goes up 2 sets to 1. Breaks Djokovic in the 3rd set, wins it 7-5. He’s excited and so am I.
5:15: Nate Montana (Joe Montana’s son) is in the game for an injured Dane Crist. To no one’s surprise he isn’t as good as his dad. He throws the ball clear out of the endzone on the last play of the half.
5:22: So much for momentum being on Miami’s side. Ohio St. kicks a field goal to go up 23-17, and then on the first play of Miami’s drive Jacory Harris throws his third interception of the half. Leads to an Ohio St. field goal. It’s 26-17 going to halftime.
5:37: All 3 marquee games are at halftime. Federer is struggling in the 4th set. I do not like this one bit.
5:43: Federer and Djokovic going to the 5th set. This might be priority number one right now on the television despite the fact that the 2nd halves are going to be starting.
5:49: Michigan and Notre Dame is going to end up being the game to watch. Dane Crist returns and throws a touchdown pass. 21-14 Michigan lead. Denard Robinson is up next!
5:56: Federer up 2-1 in the 5th set and Notre Dame driving with the ball trailing 21-14. Monster Saturday!
6:02: Score updates: Michigan 21 Notre Dame 17, Miami 17 Ohio St. 33, Florida St. 7 Oklahoma 41 and Federer and Djokovic are tied 2-2 in the 5th set.
6:17: I think the U.S. Open uses grown men to be the ball boys. The guys running across the court to retrieve the balls don’t really look like “boys.” Federer cannot put Djokovic away to go up 4-3.
6:18: Finally! 4-3 Federer in the 5th.
6:24: Federer and Djokovic knotted at 4 in the 5th set, Michigan leads by 4 going into the 4th quarter. All we need is Gus Johnson calling both games from CBS Studios. Just imagine it:
Gus: “Federer serving… Djokovic returns. Ohhhh Federer slams it! HA HA HA! You just can’t beat the Maestro! CBS Sports, this is the US Open.”
6:28: I can’t stop drooling over how awesome it is to watch Denard Robinson. He just turned a designed run into a pass for a first down. If he learns how to throw like an actual quarterback he would be virtually unstoppable.
6:38: Djokovic ties it again at 5-5 in the 5th set. Notre Dame is trailing by 4 points. I am getting dizzy from changing the channel so much.
6:42: Djokovic breaks Federer, I might cry. Novak leads 6-5 with the serve in the 5th set. No joke, I might cry.
6:52: Federer loses. I need 15 minutes.
6:55: Okay I only took 3 because Notre Dame launched a 95 touchdown. Wow this game is cheering me up. Monster Saturday! Man up Sonny!
7:03: 4th and short for Michigan. Denard Robinson time!
7:03: 1st down Michigan! Is it weird that I have a Vince Young feeling about this kid? Like there is no way he is going to lose this game because he can beat you with his feet or his arm.
7:11: As Michigan at Notre Dame is at commercial, Penn St. at Alabama are about to kick off. I think that game has potential to get ugly in favor of the Tide.
7:13: I don’t think I need to say who scored the go ahead touchdown Michigan… But I will, Denard Robinson! Your future Heisman Trophy winner.
7:18: 6 seconds left, Notre Dame has about 30 yards to go. They are down 4 so they need a touchdown (I know this because our announce team has told us about 6 times since Notre Dame got the ball 4 minutes ago.)
7:19: What’s with these Notre Dame quarterbacks throwing the ball out of the endzone on the last plays of the half? Maybe the least dramatic Hail Mary attempt ever. Great game though. Michigan wins 28-24. Time to take a break. Be back for part 3 in a bit.
Monster Saturday Running Diary Part 1
MONSTER SATURDAY
Before we get into the Monster Saturday running diary, I first want to acknowledge that 9 years ago today was a true tragedy that changed the face of this nation, and the world. I still remember being told in the lunchroom by one of my classmates that “the twin towers fell over.” Thousands of innocent lives were lost on this day, and since then our troops have been doing whatever they can to keep us safe. I want to thank them for protecting us and giving us an opportunity to watch these athletic competitions.
Welcome to the Monster Saturday running diary part 1! This is being conducted live from the living room in my new Florida condo. I’m very excited that this is the first Saturday of college football that this living room and I are having together. It’s a good start to what will hopefully be a good relationship. Frankly, this is the best September weekend of football I can remember. An absolutely loaded slate of college football (not just quality, but quantity too as you will soon see) and then the first Sunday of NFL. As great as the Thursday night game is, I feel like NFL doesn’t really start until Sunday. I need Sunday NFL Countdown with CBS and FOX pregame shows as the sidekicks to begin my season. Needless to say, I couldn’t be more excited for tomorrow. However, it’s Monster Saturday! Get ready folks, because I’m going to be here for about 12 hours giving my take on everything I watch today. All games are viewed in High Definition.
A few thoughts on ESPN College Gameday:
1. Erin Andrews is pretty… Pretty hot!
2. There are 2 signs in the Alabama crowd that I find to be very funny. The first says, “Joe Pa fathered the cast members of Jersey Shore” and the second one says “Joe Pa has Bieber Fever.” Kudos to the Crimson Tide crowd. I think the last fever Joe Pa had was Typhoid Fever.
3. Lee Corso’s “Not so fast my friend!” has to be one of the most iconic sports quotes ever. It makes me laugh every time.
Noon: I have no idea where to start! Check out the early slate we have!
On channel 396 we have FAU at Michigan St…. 401-Georgia Tech at Kansas…. 403-San Jose St. at Wisconsin…. 404-Georgia at South Carolina…. 431-Duke at Wake Forest…. 433-U.S. Open Semifinals…. 436-South Florida at Florida….726-Lithuania vs. United States
12:02: Guess we’ll start with SEC Football. Georgia at South Carolina. Winner of this game establishes themselves as the main contender to Florida’s SEC East crown. Usually a close game between these 2 teams, I expect the same story today.
12:05: Quick flip already to USA vs. Lithuania… Love the green uniforms Lithuania is rocking. Not quite as good as VT the other night though. USA -17 is my imaginary line for this game by the way.
12:12: Over on channel 403 (that’s ESPN HD aka The Visual Orgasm) Wisconsin has taken a 7-0 lead on San Jose St.
12:15: South Carolina running back Brian Maddox makes himself look like a fool as he drops an open pass in the endzone. South Carolina punches it in 2 plays later. 7-0 South Carolina. Very good opening drive for the Gamecocks.
12:20: USA leads 23-12 at the end of the 1st quarter. I think the line I set may be too low. I didn’t factor in the fact that today is 9/11 and Lithuania’s best player is Linas Kleiza.
12:22: Flip to the kickoff of South Florida at Florida. Interesting to see if the snap problems between Mike Pouncey and Jonathan Brantley are fixed. There had to be at least 10 low snaps last week vs. Miami OH. Over/under on bad snap exchanges is 3.5. FYI: Michigan St. is up 10-0 over Florida Atlantic.
12:25: Whoops! Good snap, but Brantley fumbles it and throws the ball right at the refs head. That was high comedy.
12:26: My god South Florida fumbled the snap on their first play! This is stuff we learned how to do in Pop Warner.
12:45 : Quick run through of all scores- USA 42 Lithuania 27 (half time), USF 7 Florida 0 (Impressive 17 play 96 yard drive for USF), Georgia 3 South Carolina 7, Georgia Tech 7 Kansas 7, San Jose St. 0 Wisconsin 14, FAU 7 Michigan St. 10, Duke 7 Wake Forest 7, Nadal leads 3-1.
12:47: This European fella’ Youzhny is wearing shorts that are too short. I’ll go back to tennis when Federer steps on the court. Back to Georgia vs. South Carolina.
12:55: South Carolina kicker Spencer Lanning can’t convert on a 51 yard field goal. He was born to be a kicker with a name like Spencer Lanning.
1:00: Duke and Wake Forest are in a shoot-out. 14-14 early in the 2nd quarter. Quietly emerging as a potential “end of the early games” game to watch. Duke’s uniforms look very similar to the Colts uniforms. And their Quarterback is wearing number 19. Johnny Unitas is back ladies and gentlemen!
1:03: One of THE craziest interceptions I’ve ever seen. Off the hands of the Duke receiver, off the right hand of a Wake Forest linebacker as he is falling to his back, and scooped up right before the ball hits the ground by a Wake Forest defensive back. My words don’t do it justice. That’s bad ACC football for you.
1:07: Over to the Georgia Tech vs Kansas game. Also tied at 14. A bit of a surprise considering Kansas only scored 3 points on North Dakota St last week. I wish Turner Gill would have stayed at UB. I think he was turning Buffalo into a decent MAC contender. Plus I miss seeing all of Mark Mangino’s girth on the sideline. You know someone is large when you type their name into the Yahoo search and the first 2 results of their name is “Mark Mangino Weight” and “Mark Mangino Fat”. I’m not even making this up.
1:13: Text message from my roommate Weston: “WTH (what the hell for all of you who aren’t up on cool texting lingo) is happening?” Weston is a Gators fan, and he is frustrated with their play. That’s understandable. Their defense is young and relatively inexperienced and they have to replace one of the best college football quarterbacks of the last decade. But USF is having their way with UF. A 10 minute 96 yard drive in the Swamp is damn impressive.
1:20: I’m impressed by South Carolina freshman running back Marcus Lattimore. His first half stats: 21 Carries, 103 yards with 2 touchdowns. He’s running really hard, I like that.
1:25: Over to Lithuania vs. USA, where USA only leads by 11 with a little under 7 minutes left to play. They keep using an overhead camera that makes me feel like I’m watching the game from the worst seat in the arena. Note to ESPN Classic… Stop doing that. Thank you.
1:30: Wake Forest is absolutely lighting Duke up. 35-21, and it’s still in the 2nd quarter. Johnny U is going to need to rally the troops for a comeback. Meanwhile, Florida still hasn’t found the scoreboard. Missed field goal from a usually reliable Caleb Sturgis. Still 7-0 there.
1:36: And what do you know, Duke scored again! 35-28 Wake leads. Who would have thought this game would be the leading candidate for which game I’ll be watching in the 4th quarter.
1:45: Score update with most games at halftime- USA 89 Lithuania 74 (Final score. My line of -17 was terrific!), USF 7 Florida 7, Georgia 3 South Carolina 14, Georgia Tech 17 Kansas 14 , San Jose St. 0 Wisconsin 17, FAU 7 Michigan St. 20, Duke 35 Wake Forest 35, Nadal leads 6-2, 3-3. Be back in 30 minutes.
2:21: Six minutes late, my apologies. Decided taking a shower at some point this weekend would be a good idea. Georgia, trailing 14-6 was about to march in for a potential game tying touchdown and extra point until they fumble and South Carolina recovers and takes over. Another drive killing fumble in Gainesville. USF was pounding the ball down the field until a bad handoff exchange between Quarterback BJ Daniels and runningback Demetris Murray gives the ball to Florida.
2:32: Imaginary line for the Turkey vs. Serbia game, which is a very pro Turkey crowd considering they are in Turkey, is Turkey -3. Just in case anyone was wondering.
2:45: Scores and summaries: USF 7 UF 14 (I’m not counting out USF yet. They were really close to leading 14-7 rather than trailing.) Georgia 6 South Carolina 14 (Georgia’s offense can’t get anything going. I expect to see some more Marcus Lattimore despite the fact he has already carried 28 times.) Georgia Tech 17 Kansas 28 (Upset of the week potential. I’m very surprised with this score. Turner Gill is a good coach, but I still miss Mangino.) San Jose St. 7 Wisconsin 27 (No surprise here, haven’t watched much.) Michigan St. 30 FAU 14 (Same story as the Wisconsin game.) Duke 38 Wake Forest 41 (Lack of points in the 2nd half thus far makes me upset. I was really hoping for a 73-70 game.) Nadal wins 6-2, 6-3, 6-4 (thankfully short shorts Youzhny is off the court now.) Serbia 15 Turkey 15 (The Turkey crowd is literally singing. This is awesome.)
2:51: So much for USF still being in the game. Florida leads 28-7. If you discount the 1st half of each game, Florida hasn’t looked that bad.
2:55: Someday Marcus Lattimore is going to be a good NFL back. I’m convinced. He just refuses to go down. It’s awesome to watch him run.
3:02: I love the blue outfit that Roger Federer is wearing. Don't judge me. I’m just saying it looks cool. That’s it.
3:05: First 2 final scores of the day: Michigan St. 30 FAU 17 and Wisconsin 27 San Jose St. 14.
3:08: Backhand return from Federer on the first serve. Djokovic has no answer… Not up in here!
3:15: Did not expect the two games I would be watching in the 4th quarter to be Duke at Wake Forest (41-48) and Georgia Tech at Kansas (25-28). Georgia Tech has the ball with 4 minutes left. This is what Monster Saturday is all about!
3:21: Well that wasn’t very dramatic. Wake Forest scored with 3 minutes left to extend the lead to 14 and Georgia Tech couldn’t convert on 4th down at the 50. That concludes part one of the Monster Saturday Running Diary. Be back in a little bit for part two.
Before we get into the Monster Saturday running diary, I first want to acknowledge that 9 years ago today was a true tragedy that changed the face of this nation, and the world. I still remember being told in the lunchroom by one of my classmates that “the twin towers fell over.” Thousands of innocent lives were lost on this day, and since then our troops have been doing whatever they can to keep us safe. I want to thank them for protecting us and giving us an opportunity to watch these athletic competitions.
Welcome to the Monster Saturday running diary part 1! This is being conducted live from the living room in my new Florida condo. I’m very excited that this is the first Saturday of college football that this living room and I are having together. It’s a good start to what will hopefully be a good relationship. Frankly, this is the best September weekend of football I can remember. An absolutely loaded slate of college football (not just quality, but quantity too as you will soon see) and then the first Sunday of NFL. As great as the Thursday night game is, I feel like NFL doesn’t really start until Sunday. I need Sunday NFL Countdown with CBS and FOX pregame shows as the sidekicks to begin my season. Needless to say, I couldn’t be more excited for tomorrow. However, it’s Monster Saturday! Get ready folks, because I’m going to be here for about 12 hours giving my take on everything I watch today. All games are viewed in High Definition.
A few thoughts on ESPN College Gameday:
1. Erin Andrews is pretty… Pretty hot!
2. There are 2 signs in the Alabama crowd that I find to be very funny. The first says, “Joe Pa fathered the cast members of Jersey Shore” and the second one says “Joe Pa has Bieber Fever.” Kudos to the Crimson Tide crowd. I think the last fever Joe Pa had was Typhoid Fever.
3. Lee Corso’s “Not so fast my friend!” has to be one of the most iconic sports quotes ever. It makes me laugh every time.
Noon: I have no idea where to start! Check out the early slate we have!
On channel 396 we have FAU at Michigan St…. 401-Georgia Tech at Kansas…. 403-San Jose St. at Wisconsin…. 404-Georgia at South Carolina…. 431-Duke at Wake Forest…. 433-U.S. Open Semifinals…. 436-South Florida at Florida….726-Lithuania vs. United States
12:02: Guess we’ll start with SEC Football. Georgia at South Carolina. Winner of this game establishes themselves as the main contender to Florida’s SEC East crown. Usually a close game between these 2 teams, I expect the same story today.
12:05: Quick flip already to USA vs. Lithuania… Love the green uniforms Lithuania is rocking. Not quite as good as VT the other night though. USA -17 is my imaginary line for this game by the way.
12:12: Over on channel 403 (that’s ESPN HD aka The Visual Orgasm) Wisconsin has taken a 7-0 lead on San Jose St.
12:15: South Carolina running back Brian Maddox makes himself look like a fool as he drops an open pass in the endzone. South Carolina punches it in 2 plays later. 7-0 South Carolina. Very good opening drive for the Gamecocks.
12:20: USA leads 23-12 at the end of the 1st quarter. I think the line I set may be too low. I didn’t factor in the fact that today is 9/11 and Lithuania’s best player is Linas Kleiza.
12:22: Flip to the kickoff of South Florida at Florida. Interesting to see if the snap problems between Mike Pouncey and Jonathan Brantley are fixed. There had to be at least 10 low snaps last week vs. Miami OH. Over/under on bad snap exchanges is 3.5. FYI: Michigan St. is up 10-0 over Florida Atlantic.
12:25: Whoops! Good snap, but Brantley fumbles it and throws the ball right at the refs head. That was high comedy.
12:26: My god South Florida fumbled the snap on their first play! This is stuff we learned how to do in Pop Warner.
12:45 : Quick run through of all scores- USA 42 Lithuania 27 (half time), USF 7 Florida 0 (Impressive 17 play 96 yard drive for USF), Georgia 3 South Carolina 7, Georgia Tech 7 Kansas 7, San Jose St. 0 Wisconsin 14, FAU 7 Michigan St. 10, Duke 7 Wake Forest 7, Nadal leads 3-1.
12:47: This European fella’ Youzhny is wearing shorts that are too short. I’ll go back to tennis when Federer steps on the court. Back to Georgia vs. South Carolina.
12:55: South Carolina kicker Spencer Lanning can’t convert on a 51 yard field goal. He was born to be a kicker with a name like Spencer Lanning.
1:00: Duke and Wake Forest are in a shoot-out. 14-14 early in the 2nd quarter. Quietly emerging as a potential “end of the early games” game to watch. Duke’s uniforms look very similar to the Colts uniforms. And their Quarterback is wearing number 19. Johnny Unitas is back ladies and gentlemen!
1:03: One of THE craziest interceptions I’ve ever seen. Off the hands of the Duke receiver, off the right hand of a Wake Forest linebacker as he is falling to his back, and scooped up right before the ball hits the ground by a Wake Forest defensive back. My words don’t do it justice. That’s bad ACC football for you.
1:07: Over to the Georgia Tech vs Kansas game. Also tied at 14. A bit of a surprise considering Kansas only scored 3 points on North Dakota St last week. I wish Turner Gill would have stayed at UB. I think he was turning Buffalo into a decent MAC contender. Plus I miss seeing all of Mark Mangino’s girth on the sideline. You know someone is large when you type their name into the Yahoo search and the first 2 results of their name is “Mark Mangino Weight” and “Mark Mangino Fat”. I’m not even making this up.
1:13: Text message from my roommate Weston: “WTH (what the hell for all of you who aren’t up on cool texting lingo) is happening?” Weston is a Gators fan, and he is frustrated with their play. That’s understandable. Their defense is young and relatively inexperienced and they have to replace one of the best college football quarterbacks of the last decade. But USF is having their way with UF. A 10 minute 96 yard drive in the Swamp is damn impressive.
1:20: I’m impressed by South Carolina freshman running back Marcus Lattimore. His first half stats: 21 Carries, 103 yards with 2 touchdowns. He’s running really hard, I like that.
1:25: Over to Lithuania vs. USA, where USA only leads by 11 with a little under 7 minutes left to play. They keep using an overhead camera that makes me feel like I’m watching the game from the worst seat in the arena. Note to ESPN Classic… Stop doing that. Thank you.
1:30: Wake Forest is absolutely lighting Duke up. 35-21, and it’s still in the 2nd quarter. Johnny U is going to need to rally the troops for a comeback. Meanwhile, Florida still hasn’t found the scoreboard. Missed field goal from a usually reliable Caleb Sturgis. Still 7-0 there.
1:36: And what do you know, Duke scored again! 35-28 Wake leads. Who would have thought this game would be the leading candidate for which game I’ll be watching in the 4th quarter.
1:45: Score update with most games at halftime- USA 89 Lithuania 74 (Final score. My line of -17 was terrific!), USF 7 Florida 7, Georgia 3 South Carolina 14, Georgia Tech 17 Kansas 14 , San Jose St. 0 Wisconsin 17, FAU 7 Michigan St. 20, Duke 35 Wake Forest 35, Nadal leads 6-2, 3-3. Be back in 30 minutes.
2:21: Six minutes late, my apologies. Decided taking a shower at some point this weekend would be a good idea. Georgia, trailing 14-6 was about to march in for a potential game tying touchdown and extra point until they fumble and South Carolina recovers and takes over. Another drive killing fumble in Gainesville. USF was pounding the ball down the field until a bad handoff exchange between Quarterback BJ Daniels and runningback Demetris Murray gives the ball to Florida.
2:32: Imaginary line for the Turkey vs. Serbia game, which is a very pro Turkey crowd considering they are in Turkey, is Turkey -3. Just in case anyone was wondering.
2:45: Scores and summaries: USF 7 UF 14 (I’m not counting out USF yet. They were really close to leading 14-7 rather than trailing.) Georgia 6 South Carolina 14 (Georgia’s offense can’t get anything going. I expect to see some more Marcus Lattimore despite the fact he has already carried 28 times.) Georgia Tech 17 Kansas 28 (Upset of the week potential. I’m very surprised with this score. Turner Gill is a good coach, but I still miss Mangino.) San Jose St. 7 Wisconsin 27 (No surprise here, haven’t watched much.) Michigan St. 30 FAU 14 (Same story as the Wisconsin game.) Duke 38 Wake Forest 41 (Lack of points in the 2nd half thus far makes me upset. I was really hoping for a 73-70 game.) Nadal wins 6-2, 6-3, 6-4 (thankfully short shorts Youzhny is off the court now.) Serbia 15 Turkey 15 (The Turkey crowd is literally singing. This is awesome.)
2:51: So much for USF still being in the game. Florida leads 28-7. If you discount the 1st half of each game, Florida hasn’t looked that bad.
2:55: Someday Marcus Lattimore is going to be a good NFL back. I’m convinced. He just refuses to go down. It’s awesome to watch him run.
3:02: I love the blue outfit that Roger Federer is wearing. Don't judge me. I’m just saying it looks cool. That’s it.
3:05: First 2 final scores of the day: Michigan St. 30 FAU 17 and Wisconsin 27 San Jose St. 14.
3:08: Backhand return from Federer on the first serve. Djokovic has no answer… Not up in here!
3:15: Did not expect the two games I would be watching in the 4th quarter to be Duke at Wake Forest (41-48) and Georgia Tech at Kansas (25-28). Georgia Tech has the ball with 4 minutes left. This is what Monster Saturday is all about!
3:21: Well that wasn’t very dramatic. Wake Forest scored with 3 minutes left to extend the lead to 14 and Georgia Tech couldn’t convert on 4th down at the 50. That concludes part one of the Monster Saturday Running Diary. Be back in a little bit for part two.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
A Monster Week Ahead
All I can say is wow. Let me say that again. WOW (that one was all caps). What a damn good week of college football we were blessed with. There were some awesome games (Pittsburgh vs. Utah, LSU vs. North Carolina, Oregon St. vs. TCU, Boise St. vs. Virginia Tech), some contenders looked really good (Alabama, Ohio St, Miami Fl, Oregon), other contenders didn't look so good (Oklahoma, Florida, Ole Miss) and some games didn't matter because one team is a cheater (USC vs. Hawaii). At the end of the day, the first week of college football was fantastic. If the first week is any indication of how this season plays out, we are in for a very entertaining one. Now we come to week 2, which is absolutely loaded with stellar games. But guess what, this Saturday slate of games isn't even the most important part of the weekend. No it's not the US Open. Although I am eager to see my man Roger Federer climb back to the top of the Tennis universe. NFL starts you fools! From Thursday to Monday, I will be watching a total of approximately 40 hours of football or football coverage. Typing that just now gave me butterflies in my stomach. A days worth of football is a slice of heaven. 40 hours is all of heaven, with all of the angels and saints included too. What kind of person would I be if I didn't pick the outcomes to a number of these games? One who doesn't care about sports, that's who. Also, I want to test my game picking ability. Hopefully I can establish myself as a stud in the field of picking games. If nothing else, I am "expert" #11,265 that is trying to get you to read their picks.
College Football
Auburn over Mississippi St.
Houston over UTEP
Florida over South Florida
South Carolina over Georgia
Florida St. over Oklahoma
Michigan over Notre Dame
Miami Fl over Ohio St. (Didn't a Miami team crush the title hopes of an Ohio team already this summer? I'm pretty sure it happened.)
Alabama over Penn St.
Oregon over Tennessee
Stanford over UCLA
NFL
New Orleans over Minnesota
New York Giants over Carolina
Atlanta over Pittsburgh
Tampa Bay over Cleveland
Denver over Jacksonville
Indianapolis over Houston
Miami over Buffalo
Chicago over Detroit
Tennessee over Oakland
New England over Cincinnati
Arizona over St. Louis
San Francisco over Seattle
Green Bay over Philadelphia
Dallas over Washington
New York Jets over Baltimore
San Diego over Kansas City
Let's hope I start the year off strong. I'm looking for a close to perfect week to give myself some momentum for the rest of the year. My goal is to correctly choose the winner of 75% of all games I pick. I've set the bar high. It's set high because I am the Captain! But this isn't about me, my picks or the stuffed bread I will be eating on Sunday (yummm). This is about the excitement that all of us are starting to feel. This is football season ladies and gentlemen. Enjoy!
College Football
Auburn over Mississippi St.
Houston over UTEP
Florida over South Florida
South Carolina over Georgia
Florida St. over Oklahoma
Michigan over Notre Dame
Miami Fl over Ohio St. (Didn't a Miami team crush the title hopes of an Ohio team already this summer? I'm pretty sure it happened.)
Alabama over Penn St.
Oregon over Tennessee
Stanford over UCLA
NFL
New Orleans over Minnesota
New York Giants over Carolina
Atlanta over Pittsburgh
Tampa Bay over Cleveland
Denver over Jacksonville
Indianapolis over Houston
Miami over Buffalo
Chicago over Detroit
Tennessee over Oakland
New England over Cincinnati
Arizona over St. Louis
San Francisco over Seattle
Green Bay over Philadelphia
Dallas over Washington
New York Jets over Baltimore
San Diego over Kansas City
Let's hope I start the year off strong. I'm looking for a close to perfect week to give myself some momentum for the rest of the year. My goal is to correctly choose the winner of 75% of all games I pick. I've set the bar high. It's set high because I am the Captain! But this isn't about me, my picks or the stuffed bread I will be eating on Sunday (yummm). This is about the excitement that all of us are starting to feel. This is football season ladies and gentlemen. Enjoy!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
The "Brett Favre Ruined My First Attempt at an NFL Preview" NFL Preview
So about 2 weeks ago, I started working on an NFL preview. I have to say, it was a pretty damn good preview. It was titled, "An Important NFL Preview" mainly because I revealed a number of topics that had to do with this upcoming season that I thought were discussion worthy. I touched on what I am calling "The Wrath of Peyton Manning" which basically is Peyton Manning avenging his Super Bowl choke job on the rest of the NFL this year. Mark my words, he will have his best season yet. I know he threw for over 4,500 yards and had 49 touchdowns in 2004, but just wait. He is going to be in Liam Neeson mode from Taken; slaughtering any European (NFL team) that gets in his way in order to find his daughter (a Super Bowl Title). Trust me, he will get his "Peyback". And by "Peyback" I mean passing for over 5,000 yards and leading the Colts to the leagues best record. I also talked about a number of players who are in new places this year and players who are in bigger roles. I feel like some players will have a terrific impact on their teams (Anquan Boldin in Baltimore, Julius Peppers in Chicago, Brandon Marshall in Miami, LaDainian Tomlinson in New York, Jason Campbell in Oakland) and those who won't be so successful (Matt Leinert now starting for Arizona for now... probably not though, Donovan McNabb in Washington, Thomas Jones in Kansas City, Terrell Owens in Cincinnati).
At the completion of this immaculate preview, I re-read it and was very happy with myself. I patted myself on the back and gave myself kudos. I was beside myself with glee and I felt like the cats pajamas!... And then Brett Favre happened. The man who accounts for more drama than the Jersey Shore crew came along and threw a monkey wrench into my plan. He cramped my style, and I am pissed about it. It's the same story every year. He is like the desperate woman on an afternoon soap opera who leaves her husband and then comes crawling back to him. By now it shouldn't be a surprise. He's done this for what, 5 years now? It's an annual summer routine. However, this year I was foolish and believed his abundance of crap and went all in doing an NFL preview not including him. Fool me once shame on you... There will not be any fooling me twice. I will continue to believe that Brett Favre is going to comeback every season until the man is 70. His stupid charade of "I'm actually done this time" finally got to me, and I'm paying for it. I have to write another damn NFL preview, re-calculating my fantasy football predictions and re-picking all games of the schedule. This is super sweet!
So, where should I start? I guess we'll go back to April. Like every NFL fan, I tuned into the schedule release special on ESPN and sat there aroused (not how you are thinking you perverts) as I saw the glorious contests of American Football I would be able to view every week from September until early January. I'm not sure if you do this or if just me because I am a sports nerd, but I go through each week and pick out the top 5 games each week. I also rank each week 1-17 in order of the quality of the games. Make fun of me, I don't care. But thanks to me, you are going to know what the ten most intriguing games of the season are.
Week 1- Minnesota at New Orleans: Opening night + Rematch of last years NFC championship + The fact that the New Orleans crowd will be absolutely INSANE = What a way to start the 2010-2011 season. Couldn't ask for anything better.
-Notice Brett Favre was not mentioned once in the above paragraph... Damn it, I just mentioned him!
Week 1- Baltimore at New York Jets: Possibly the best Monday Night Football game of the year kicks it all off. The Ravens and Jets are two of the AFC favorites and this could end up being the most physical game of the year.
Week 2/13- New England at New York Jets: Tom Brady's comments towards HBO's show Hard Knocks featuring the New York Jets poured fuel on the fire of what is now most likely the leagues most anger-filled rivalry. The clear cut best teams in the AFC East get to go to war two times, and that makes football fans like me very happy.
Week 3- Green Bay at Chicago: I honestly like how things look for my Chicago Bears. I know they have looked like the 2007 Elba Lancers in the pre season, but I'm trying to be optimistic. This week 3 Monday Night showdown versus their longtime rival Green Bay could be an early indicator of whether a newly implanted Mike Martz offense could lead Chicago back to the playoffs.
Week 4- Washington at Philadelphia: Both of these teams aren't going to make the playoffs in my opinion, but it's worth watching only because the Philadelphia crowd may get pretty aggressive with Donovan McNabb. They are known for being a cruel bunch of S.O.B.'s so it could get entertaining. Plus anytime Washington plays this year there is the possibilty that Albert Haynesworth beats up... or eats Mike Shanahan. I don't doubt that either of these occurances could happen.
Week 6- Dallas at Minnesota: In January, Minnesota beat the breaks off of Dallas in the NFC Divisional Round. Don't expect the story to be the same in mid October of this season.
Week 11- Indianapolis at New England: Has there been a better non division rivalry in recent NFL history? Perhaps the two most consistent teams of the last decade meet year in and year out, and the build up is always sky high. Last year there was huge build up and the game was not a let down. It's not too far fetched to think it could play out the same way this year.
Week 12- New Orleans at Dallas: Thanksgiving Football! How sweet is it they we might be getting an NFC playoff preview while we chow down our Thanksgiving dinner. Yum, stuffing. My stomach is growling already. But in all seriousness, this is the best Thanksgiving day game I can remember. There is a legitimate chance these two teams are at the top of the NFC playoff picture when they meet.
Week 13- Dallas at Indianapolis: The NFL schedule makers did Dallas no favors heading into the final stretch of the regular season. Hell, they have a crap schedule all season. Despite the fact Dallas is getting the shaft, this might not be the only time we see this match up this season *SPOILER ALERT*.
Week 17: Arizona at San Francisco: On paper, this one isn't too exciting. Neither of these teams have a chance of winning the Super Bowl. But this game could very well determine who secures a spot in the playoffs as champion of the NFC West.
Good games, right? Yeah, I know. I picked them. Now I am going to tell you WHO to pick in your fantasy draft. Fantasy football is as much apart of the NFL season as the games themselves. In fact, sometimes fantasy football means more to fans than games do. I have been in that position before. I feel like I have a parasite in my stomach when I find myself rooting for Adrian Peterson to have a huge game against my beloved Bears. But that's how meaningful it is.
Quarterbacks- 1. Peyton Manning, 2. Aaron Rodgers, 3. Drew Brees, 4. Tom Brady, 5. Tony Romo, 6. Matt Schaub, 7. Philip "Paul Clark Calls me Phil" Rivers, 8. Brett Favre, 9. Jay Cutler, 10. Joe Flacco
*Sleepers*- Chad Henne, Alex Smith, Matthew Stafford
Runningbacks- 1. Chris Johnson, 2. Adrian Peterson, 3. Ray Rice, 4. Maurice Jones-Drew, 5. Frank Gore, 6. Steven Jackson, 7. Ryan Grant, 8. DeAngelo Williams, 9. Michael Turner, 10. Shonn Greene
*Sleepers*- Felix Jones, CJ Spiller, Michael Bush
Wide Receivers- 1. Andre Johnson, 2. Reggie Wayne, 3. Randy Moss, 4. Miles Austin, 5. Calvin Johnson, 6. Larry Fitzgerald, 7. Greg Jennings, 8. Anquan Boldin, 9. Brandon Marshall, 10. Marques Colston
*Sleepers*- Devin Aromashodu, Pierre Garcon (soft C), Michael Crabtree
Tight Ends- 1. Dallas Clark, 2. Antonio Gates, 3. Vernon Davis, 4. Jason Witten, 5. Jermichael Finley
Kickers- 1. Nate Kaeding, 2. Ryan Longwell, 3. Garrett Hartley, 4. Stephen Gostkowski, 5. Mason Crosby
Defense- 1. New York Jets, 2. Minnesota Vikings, 3. San Francisco 49ers, 4. Green Bay Packers, 5. Baltimore Ravens
I feel like since I'm doing an NFL preview, I need to go out on a limb with some predictions. Since I'm way to cautious to risk totally botching my team record outcomes, I'll make 5 absolutely ludicrous predictions that most likely won't be right.
BOLD PREDICTION 1- Peyton Manning will break the record for either passing yards or passing touchdowns in a season. Don't forget the Wrath of Peyton Manning.
BOLD PREDICTION 2- Matt Leinart will fall off the face of the NFL earth similar to Ryan Leaf and Jamarcus Russell. Leinart better hop into his Hot Tub Time Machine and get good like he was at USC.
BOLD PREDICTION 3- Carson Palmer will have a nervous breakdown due to Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco... Unlikely, but possible.
BOLD PREDICTION 4- Bill Belichick will call Rex Ryan fat. Belichick doesn't hold anything back, he speaks his mind. And after all, Rex is a little husky.
BOLD PREDICTION 5- No time will be missed in the 2011 season. Maybe its just wishful thinking. I just cannot picture not watching football on Sundays. I'm probably just terrified to find out what it would be like.
Now that you know what games you need to watch, the players you must have on your fantasy team and 5 Bold Predictions that may or may not come true, you probably want to hear about how this regular season is going to play out. Again, thanks to my main cat Brett Favre, I had to re pick the whole NFL schedule. If you are asking yourselves "why didn't he just pick Minnesota's games?" then you clearly don't know me. I am a freak when it comes to details. It would have ate me alive if I hadn't picked the whole schedule again.
AFC East- 1. New York Jets 12-4, 2. New England Patriots 10-6, 3. Miami Dolphins 9-7, 4. Buffalo Bills 4-12
AFC South- 1. Indianapolis Colts 13-3, 2. Tennessee Titans 9-7, 3. Houston Texans 8-8, 4. Jacksonville Jaguars 5-11
AFC West- 1. San Diego Chargers 10-6, 2. Denver Broncos 7-9, 3. Oakland Raiders 6-10, 4. Kansas City Chiefs 6-10
AFC North- 1. Baltimore Ravens 11-5, 2. Cincinnati Bengals 9-7, 3. Pittsburgh Steelers 7-9, 4. Cleveland Browns 3-13
NFC East- 1. Dallas Cowboys 12-4, 2. New York Giants 9-7, 3. Philadelphia Eagles 8-8, 4. Washington Redskins 5-11
NFC South- 1. New Orleans Saints 12-4, 2. Atlanta Falcons 8-8, 3. Carolina Panthers 6-10, 4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 4-12
NFC West- 1. San Francisco 49ers 9-7, 2. Arizona Cardinals 8-8, 3. Seattle Seahawks 5-11, 4. St. Louis Rams 2-14
NFC North- 1. Green Bay Packers 12-4, 2. Minnesota Vikings 11-5, 3. Chicago Bears 9-7, 4. Detroit Lions 4-12
Welcome to 2011! Confetti, Champagne, Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years Eve and 4 months of football have passed. Time has flown so fast. Now it is time for the real season to start. The NFL playoffs are ready to begin. Typically my picks for the playoffs include the same exact teams as the year before. I'm too cautious to try to pick any differently. This year, I thought outside the box a little bit.
Wild Card Round- 3. Green Bay Packers over 6. Chicago Bears, 5. Minnesota Vikings over 4. San Francisco 49ers, 3. Baltimore Ravens over 6. Tennessee Titans, 5. New England Patriots over 4. San Diego Chargers
Divisional Round- 1. Dallas Cowboys over 5. Minnesota Vikings, 2. New Orleans Saints over 3. Green Bay Packers, 1. Indianapolis Colts over 5. New England Patriots, 2. New York Jets over 3. Baltimore Ravens
Championship Round- 1. Dallas Cowboys over 2. New Orleans Saints, 1. Indianapolis Colts over 2. New York Jets
Super Bowl- Indianapolis Colts over Dallas Cowboys
There you have it. Everyone is talking about the so called "Super Bowl Hangover" that the Colts are going to have. I don't buy it. I think if any player can recover from a tough Super Bowl loss like the Colts suffered last year, it's Peyton Manning. However, the fact that the Colts have a coach who shows as much emotion as a bucket of paint scares the hell out of me when making this prediction. For Peytons sake I wish he played for a coach like Bill Belichick or Rex Ryan, and that ultimately is why I had a really tough time deciding who would come out of the AFC. For the NFC, it was easier. Despite the fact that they face a horrible schedule, I feel like this is finally the year that Dallas gets a couple of playoff wins and Romo takes Dallas to the big stage, which this year is in the Cowboys home stadium. It's just a gut feeling. There are plenty of teams that could keep Dallas from getting this far. New Orleans can't be counted out. Their offense is electric and they are on cloud 9 from their Super Bowl win last year. Green Bay is a legitimate contender as well.
Oh yeah, some D-bag named Brett Favre can get in their way too.
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?
At the completion of this immaculate preview, I re-read it and was very happy with myself. I patted myself on the back and gave myself kudos. I was beside myself with glee and I felt like the cats pajamas!... And then Brett Favre happened. The man who accounts for more drama than the Jersey Shore crew came along and threw a monkey wrench into my plan. He cramped my style, and I am pissed about it. It's the same story every year. He is like the desperate woman on an afternoon soap opera who leaves her husband and then comes crawling back to him. By now it shouldn't be a surprise. He's done this for what, 5 years now? It's an annual summer routine. However, this year I was foolish and believed his abundance of crap and went all in doing an NFL preview not including him. Fool me once shame on you... There will not be any fooling me twice. I will continue to believe that Brett Favre is going to comeback every season until the man is 70. His stupid charade of "I'm actually done this time" finally got to me, and I'm paying for it. I have to write another damn NFL preview, re-calculating my fantasy football predictions and re-picking all games of the schedule. This is super sweet!
So, where should I start? I guess we'll go back to April. Like every NFL fan, I tuned into the schedule release special on ESPN and sat there aroused (not how you are thinking you perverts) as I saw the glorious contests of American Football I would be able to view every week from September until early January. I'm not sure if you do this or if just me because I am a sports nerd, but I go through each week and pick out the top 5 games each week. I also rank each week 1-17 in order of the quality of the games. Make fun of me, I don't care. But thanks to me, you are going to know what the ten most intriguing games of the season are.
Week 1- Minnesota at New Orleans: Opening night + Rematch of last years NFC championship + The fact that the New Orleans crowd will be absolutely INSANE = What a way to start the 2010-2011 season. Couldn't ask for anything better.
-Notice Brett Favre was not mentioned once in the above paragraph... Damn it, I just mentioned him!
Week 1- Baltimore at New York Jets: Possibly the best Monday Night Football game of the year kicks it all off. The Ravens and Jets are two of the AFC favorites and this could end up being the most physical game of the year.
Week 2/13- New England at New York Jets: Tom Brady's comments towards HBO's show Hard Knocks featuring the New York Jets poured fuel on the fire of what is now most likely the leagues most anger-filled rivalry. The clear cut best teams in the AFC East get to go to war two times, and that makes football fans like me very happy.
Week 3- Green Bay at Chicago: I honestly like how things look for my Chicago Bears. I know they have looked like the 2007 Elba Lancers in the pre season, but I'm trying to be optimistic. This week 3 Monday Night showdown versus their longtime rival Green Bay could be an early indicator of whether a newly implanted Mike Martz offense could lead Chicago back to the playoffs.
Week 4- Washington at Philadelphia: Both of these teams aren't going to make the playoffs in my opinion, but it's worth watching only because the Philadelphia crowd may get pretty aggressive with Donovan McNabb. They are known for being a cruel bunch of S.O.B.'s so it could get entertaining. Plus anytime Washington plays this year there is the possibilty that Albert Haynesworth beats up... or eats Mike Shanahan. I don't doubt that either of these occurances could happen.
Week 6- Dallas at Minnesota: In January, Minnesota beat the breaks off of Dallas in the NFC Divisional Round. Don't expect the story to be the same in mid October of this season.
Week 11- Indianapolis at New England: Has there been a better non division rivalry in recent NFL history? Perhaps the two most consistent teams of the last decade meet year in and year out, and the build up is always sky high. Last year there was huge build up and the game was not a let down. It's not too far fetched to think it could play out the same way this year.
Week 12- New Orleans at Dallas: Thanksgiving Football! How sweet is it they we might be getting an NFC playoff preview while we chow down our Thanksgiving dinner. Yum, stuffing. My stomach is growling already. But in all seriousness, this is the best Thanksgiving day game I can remember. There is a legitimate chance these two teams are at the top of the NFC playoff picture when they meet.
Week 13- Dallas at Indianapolis: The NFL schedule makers did Dallas no favors heading into the final stretch of the regular season. Hell, they have a crap schedule all season. Despite the fact Dallas is getting the shaft, this might not be the only time we see this match up this season *SPOILER ALERT*.
Week 17: Arizona at San Francisco: On paper, this one isn't too exciting. Neither of these teams have a chance of winning the Super Bowl. But this game could very well determine who secures a spot in the playoffs as champion of the NFC West.
Good games, right? Yeah, I know. I picked them. Now I am going to tell you WHO to pick in your fantasy draft. Fantasy football is as much apart of the NFL season as the games themselves. In fact, sometimes fantasy football means more to fans than games do. I have been in that position before. I feel like I have a parasite in my stomach when I find myself rooting for Adrian Peterson to have a huge game against my beloved Bears. But that's how meaningful it is.
Quarterbacks- 1. Peyton Manning, 2. Aaron Rodgers, 3. Drew Brees, 4. Tom Brady, 5. Tony Romo, 6. Matt Schaub, 7. Philip "Paul Clark Calls me Phil" Rivers, 8. Brett Favre, 9. Jay Cutler, 10. Joe Flacco
*Sleepers*- Chad Henne, Alex Smith, Matthew Stafford
Runningbacks- 1. Chris Johnson, 2. Adrian Peterson, 3. Ray Rice, 4. Maurice Jones-Drew, 5. Frank Gore, 6. Steven Jackson, 7. Ryan Grant, 8. DeAngelo Williams, 9. Michael Turner, 10. Shonn Greene
*Sleepers*- Felix Jones, CJ Spiller, Michael Bush
Wide Receivers- 1. Andre Johnson, 2. Reggie Wayne, 3. Randy Moss, 4. Miles Austin, 5. Calvin Johnson, 6. Larry Fitzgerald, 7. Greg Jennings, 8. Anquan Boldin, 9. Brandon Marshall, 10. Marques Colston
*Sleepers*- Devin Aromashodu, Pierre Garcon (soft C), Michael Crabtree
Tight Ends- 1. Dallas Clark, 2. Antonio Gates, 3. Vernon Davis, 4. Jason Witten, 5. Jermichael Finley
Kickers- 1. Nate Kaeding, 2. Ryan Longwell, 3. Garrett Hartley, 4. Stephen Gostkowski, 5. Mason Crosby
Defense- 1. New York Jets, 2. Minnesota Vikings, 3. San Francisco 49ers, 4. Green Bay Packers, 5. Baltimore Ravens
I feel like since I'm doing an NFL preview, I need to go out on a limb with some predictions. Since I'm way to cautious to risk totally botching my team record outcomes, I'll make 5 absolutely ludicrous predictions that most likely won't be right.
BOLD PREDICTION 1- Peyton Manning will break the record for either passing yards or passing touchdowns in a season. Don't forget the Wrath of Peyton Manning.
BOLD PREDICTION 2- Matt Leinart will fall off the face of the NFL earth similar to Ryan Leaf and Jamarcus Russell. Leinart better hop into his Hot Tub Time Machine and get good like he was at USC.
BOLD PREDICTION 3- Carson Palmer will have a nervous breakdown due to Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco... Unlikely, but possible.
BOLD PREDICTION 4- Bill Belichick will call Rex Ryan fat. Belichick doesn't hold anything back, he speaks his mind. And after all, Rex is a little husky.
BOLD PREDICTION 5- No time will be missed in the 2011 season. Maybe its just wishful thinking. I just cannot picture not watching football on Sundays. I'm probably just terrified to find out what it would be like.
Now that you know what games you need to watch, the players you must have on your fantasy team and 5 Bold Predictions that may or may not come true, you probably want to hear about how this regular season is going to play out. Again, thanks to my main cat Brett Favre, I had to re pick the whole NFL schedule. If you are asking yourselves "why didn't he just pick Minnesota's games?" then you clearly don't know me. I am a freak when it comes to details. It would have ate me alive if I hadn't picked the whole schedule again.
AFC East- 1. New York Jets 12-4, 2. New England Patriots 10-6, 3. Miami Dolphins 9-7, 4. Buffalo Bills 4-12
AFC South- 1. Indianapolis Colts 13-3, 2. Tennessee Titans 9-7, 3. Houston Texans 8-8, 4. Jacksonville Jaguars 5-11
AFC West- 1. San Diego Chargers 10-6, 2. Denver Broncos 7-9, 3. Oakland Raiders 6-10, 4. Kansas City Chiefs 6-10
AFC North- 1. Baltimore Ravens 11-5, 2. Cincinnati Bengals 9-7, 3. Pittsburgh Steelers 7-9, 4. Cleveland Browns 3-13
NFC East- 1. Dallas Cowboys 12-4, 2. New York Giants 9-7, 3. Philadelphia Eagles 8-8, 4. Washington Redskins 5-11
NFC South- 1. New Orleans Saints 12-4, 2. Atlanta Falcons 8-8, 3. Carolina Panthers 6-10, 4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 4-12
NFC West- 1. San Francisco 49ers 9-7, 2. Arizona Cardinals 8-8, 3. Seattle Seahawks 5-11, 4. St. Louis Rams 2-14
NFC North- 1. Green Bay Packers 12-4, 2. Minnesota Vikings 11-5, 3. Chicago Bears 9-7, 4. Detroit Lions 4-12
Welcome to 2011! Confetti, Champagne, Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years Eve and 4 months of football have passed. Time has flown so fast. Now it is time for the real season to start. The NFL playoffs are ready to begin. Typically my picks for the playoffs include the same exact teams as the year before. I'm too cautious to try to pick any differently. This year, I thought outside the box a little bit.
Wild Card Round- 3. Green Bay Packers over 6. Chicago Bears, 5. Minnesota Vikings over 4. San Francisco 49ers, 3. Baltimore Ravens over 6. Tennessee Titans, 5. New England Patriots over 4. San Diego Chargers
Divisional Round- 1. Dallas Cowboys over 5. Minnesota Vikings, 2. New Orleans Saints over 3. Green Bay Packers, 1. Indianapolis Colts over 5. New England Patriots, 2. New York Jets over 3. Baltimore Ravens
Championship Round- 1. Dallas Cowboys over 2. New Orleans Saints, 1. Indianapolis Colts over 2. New York Jets
Super Bowl- Indianapolis Colts over Dallas Cowboys
There you have it. Everyone is talking about the so called "Super Bowl Hangover" that the Colts are going to have. I don't buy it. I think if any player can recover from a tough Super Bowl loss like the Colts suffered last year, it's Peyton Manning. However, the fact that the Colts have a coach who shows as much emotion as a bucket of paint scares the hell out of me when making this prediction. For Peytons sake I wish he played for a coach like Bill Belichick or Rex Ryan, and that ultimately is why I had a really tough time deciding who would come out of the AFC. For the NFC, it was easier. Despite the fact that they face a horrible schedule, I feel like this is finally the year that Dallas gets a couple of playoff wins and Romo takes Dallas to the big stage, which this year is in the Cowboys home stadium. It's just a gut feeling. There are plenty of teams that could keep Dallas from getting this far. New Orleans can't be counted out. Their offense is electric and they are on cloud 9 from their Super Bowl win last year. Green Bay is a legitimate contender as well.
Oh yeah, some D-bag named Brett Favre can get in their way too.
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?
Saturday, August 14, 2010
You're Going to Hate That I Love the Heat
Rewind back to July 7th, 1996: WCW held their third annual "Bash at the Beach" pay-per-view. The event was headlined by a six man tag match of Randy "Macho Man" Savage, Sting and Lex Luger vs. "The Outsiders" Scott Hall and Kevin Nash, and a mystery partner. For you non-wrestling fans, let me give you a quick summary of why this is being mentioned in a blog about the Miami Heat. "The Outsiders" Hall and Nash, formerly Razor Ramon (Latino Bad Boy) and Diesel (Tall Guy with a Mullet) in the World Wrestling Federation, entered the WCW as rebels who were trying to take over the company. Three of WCW's most popular stars Randy Savage (SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM, OH YEAHHHHH!) Sting (Face Painted Blonde) and Lex Luger (Roid Rage waiting to happen) were the defense to these outsiders. At the summer pay-per-view "Bash at the Beach" the "good" WCW guys fought the "bad" former WWF guys. However, it was a 2 vs. 3 situation, so the Outsiders got the opportunity to choose one more individual to be on their team. So the match is under way and Lex Luger has been taken to the back on a stretcher, so now it is all even at 2 on 2. The Outsiders are in control, when all of the sudden the ultimate wrestling hero, Hulk Hogan starts walking down the ramp. The crowd goes bananas thinking that Hogan is going to help defeat the bad guys for the 23,745th time of his career. Hogan gets in the ring and Hall and Nash exit immediately. Hogan stood in the ring for several seconds absorbing the cheers of the crowd and then BAM! The course of wrestling changed. Hogan leg dropped his former friend Savage a number of times, and thus creating the biggest face to heel turn in wrestling history. Hogan was the third member of The Outsiders. Over the next few years, Hogan, Nash and Hall (now the nWo- New World Order) along with other superstars that joined the group looked to take over the WCW. The nWo became the biggest heel group of all time, and Hogan went from being loved to being hated.
Fast forward 14 years and 1 day. July 8th, 2010: ESPN 9 p.m. The LeBron James Decision. Just like Hulk Hogan, LeBron James went from one of the most loved athletes to one of the most hated athletes in a matter of moments. In a matter of words really. All it took was LeBron saying "I'm taking my talents to South Beach" for the sports world to turn on the 25 year old athlete who prior to this had only been praised. He was called a traitor, a coward, selfish, and other names by Cavaliers fans that I'm not sure I could put in this blog. Even Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert sent a response letter out to the Cleveland fans bashing the "self titled former King". LeBron sealed his fate when he decided to have a 1 hour special telling the sports world he was going to leave his native Ohio to play for the Miami Heat. Instead of rising up and trying to lead a team to the promised land that was destined not to win, he took arguably the much easier way out to play with his friends Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade. Much like the nWo transformation, their is no shortage of media and fan attention on this team. They've already generated the nicknames Miami Thrice, The South Beach Super Team, Triami, The Three Kings and the Super Best Friends. In reality, they are the NBA's version of the nWo. The Heat instantly became the NBA's most hated team and there is nothing they (LeBron in particular) could do about it. Instead of fighting this and trying to get on the good side of everyone, perhaps they are better off running with the "bad guy" role and also embracing it and encouraging it. How you ask...
First, Spoelsta needs to go. He might be a good coach, but Pat Riley looks exactly like the guy who should be at the head of this villainous team. He just looks like a creep. Secondly, they need to be in EFF You mode all season long. What is this exactly? This means getting ultra prepared during the upcoming months (commitment to defense, getting used to playing together, finding certain players certain roles, etc.) Once they have all of this down it will be gametime. Every game possible they need to run the score up. They have to be full throttle every night and have the mindset of "let's win by 40 tonight". If that means playing some of the starters in the 4th quarter when up by 20 then so be it. They need to win by 40. If you are still confused about what exactly EFF You mode is, just think about the 2007 Patriots. Once everyone sees they are in EFF You mode, they will be feared.
They also need to antagonize the crowds. When they get a breakaway dunk there needs to be alot of showboating afterward, the bench needs to stand and go crazy, you get the idea. And I don't think I need to mention that when Miami plays in Cleveland there better be some chalk at the scorers table. Speaking of Cleveland, there better be serious security in Cleveland when Miami comes to town, because there is a very good chance it could get violent otherwise. You can expect that capacity crowds in opposing teams arenas will be filled and booing like never before. But no make no mistake, everyone will be watching the super villains. They can reinforce this villain theme by wearing the black uniforms (my personal favorites, and also a typical villain color) as much as possible. The nWo wore black, I see no reason why the Heat shouldn't.
About a week ago, LeBron tweeted that he was taking "Mental Notes" of everyone who has took shots at him this summer. Finally twitter benefits an athlete instead of hurting him. I believe this was a fantastic move on LeBrons part. All he has to do now is back it up. This is a terrific first step in how this Heat team can use twitter to their benefit. Say stuff and back it up. If they are going to embrace being the most hated team in sports history, they can most definitely use twitter to help their cause. You cannot convince me that the "Bad Boy" Pistons or the Portland "Jail" Blazers wouldn't have talked some serious smack in their tweets had Twitter been around in their playing era. We know Bosh is up to getting involved in Twitter, LeBron has his account and so does Wade. Before every game why not talk a little trash on twitter. After a blow out win, brag about it to the twitter universe. People will get pissed and the spotlight on the Heat will be getting bigger and bigger. Exactly what those ego's want.
The final thing that Miami needs to do in order to be labelled the "Super Villains" of the NBA is win. If they aren't winning, they are just going to become losers, not super villains. It's not fun to root for a team that never wins. If they rack up wins and potentially break the single season record and win the NBA title, that's when people are going to hate the most. That's when it gets fun for the South Beach Super Team. That is when the ego's grow bigger.
Let us take a journey back to WCW. The nWo was running things big time, and who comes to the aid of the WCW? "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Why is this important? Looking back before Hogan made the heel turn and joined the nWo, he was the most popular guy in the business and Flair was the hated jerk of the company. This sound a bit familiar to anyone? Remember who everyone hated 4 years ago because of a certain incident in Colorado? KOBE BRYANT! Yes, just a few years ago LeBron was looking to take the torch from Kobe while also taking the crown of the most popular player in the league. Didn't quite happen as smoothly as I thought it would. Let's look at the WCW situation. What happened was Flair became the popular guy who the fans loved while Hogan was now hated. That sounds familiar. As soon as LeBron quit on the Cavs and Kobe won his 2nd straight title, he is now endeared by the league and the fans while LeBron is hated. Hogan/Flair comparison acceptable? I think so.
So what exactly am I saying? I'm not predicting that the NBA scenario will play out the same way it did with WCW (considering the WCW went out of business in 2001). I'm simply saying that the Heat are the nWo of the NBA, and that is not a bad thing. Why should we expect LeBron, Wade and Bosh to be the good guys? Maybe its more fun for people to hate them. That could be exactly what LeBron needed to light a fire under his ass. While everyone is hating on the Heat, I'm going to be sitting back and enjoying the show. Hopefully I'll be one of the few who is happy about the outcome of this NBA season.
Fast forward 14 years and 1 day. July 8th, 2010: ESPN 9 p.m. The LeBron James Decision. Just like Hulk Hogan, LeBron James went from one of the most loved athletes to one of the most hated athletes in a matter of moments. In a matter of words really. All it took was LeBron saying "I'm taking my talents to South Beach" for the sports world to turn on the 25 year old athlete who prior to this had only been praised. He was called a traitor, a coward, selfish, and other names by Cavaliers fans that I'm not sure I could put in this blog. Even Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert sent a response letter out to the Cleveland fans bashing the "self titled former King". LeBron sealed his fate when he decided to have a 1 hour special telling the sports world he was going to leave his native Ohio to play for the Miami Heat. Instead of rising up and trying to lead a team to the promised land that was destined not to win, he took arguably the much easier way out to play with his friends Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade. Much like the nWo transformation, their is no shortage of media and fan attention on this team. They've already generated the nicknames Miami Thrice, The South Beach Super Team, Triami, The Three Kings and the Super Best Friends. In reality, they are the NBA's version of the nWo. The Heat instantly became the NBA's most hated team and there is nothing they (LeBron in particular) could do about it. Instead of fighting this and trying to get on the good side of everyone, perhaps they are better off running with the "bad guy" role and also embracing it and encouraging it. How you ask...
First, Spoelsta needs to go. He might be a good coach, but Pat Riley looks exactly like the guy who should be at the head of this villainous team. He just looks like a creep. Secondly, they need to be in EFF You mode all season long. What is this exactly? This means getting ultra prepared during the upcoming months (commitment to defense, getting used to playing together, finding certain players certain roles, etc.) Once they have all of this down it will be gametime. Every game possible they need to run the score up. They have to be full throttle every night and have the mindset of "let's win by 40 tonight". If that means playing some of the starters in the 4th quarter when up by 20 then so be it. They need to win by 40. If you are still confused about what exactly EFF You mode is, just think about the 2007 Patriots. Once everyone sees they are in EFF You mode, they will be feared.
They also need to antagonize the crowds. When they get a breakaway dunk there needs to be alot of showboating afterward, the bench needs to stand and go crazy, you get the idea. And I don't think I need to mention that when Miami plays in Cleveland there better be some chalk at the scorers table. Speaking of Cleveland, there better be serious security in Cleveland when Miami comes to town, because there is a very good chance it could get violent otherwise. You can expect that capacity crowds in opposing teams arenas will be filled and booing like never before. But no make no mistake, everyone will be watching the super villains. They can reinforce this villain theme by wearing the black uniforms (my personal favorites, and also a typical villain color) as much as possible. The nWo wore black, I see no reason why the Heat shouldn't.
About a week ago, LeBron tweeted that he was taking "Mental Notes" of everyone who has took shots at him this summer. Finally twitter benefits an athlete instead of hurting him. I believe this was a fantastic move on LeBrons part. All he has to do now is back it up. This is a terrific first step in how this Heat team can use twitter to their benefit. Say stuff and back it up. If they are going to embrace being the most hated team in sports history, they can most definitely use twitter to help their cause. You cannot convince me that the "Bad Boy" Pistons or the Portland "Jail" Blazers wouldn't have talked some serious smack in their tweets had Twitter been around in their playing era. We know Bosh is up to getting involved in Twitter, LeBron has his account and so does Wade. Before every game why not talk a little trash on twitter. After a blow out win, brag about it to the twitter universe. People will get pissed and the spotlight on the Heat will be getting bigger and bigger. Exactly what those ego's want.
The final thing that Miami needs to do in order to be labelled the "Super Villains" of the NBA is win. If they aren't winning, they are just going to become losers, not super villains. It's not fun to root for a team that never wins. If they rack up wins and potentially break the single season record and win the NBA title, that's when people are going to hate the most. That's when it gets fun for the South Beach Super Team. That is when the ego's grow bigger.
Let us take a journey back to WCW. The nWo was running things big time, and who comes to the aid of the WCW? "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Why is this important? Looking back before Hogan made the heel turn and joined the nWo, he was the most popular guy in the business and Flair was the hated jerk of the company. This sound a bit familiar to anyone? Remember who everyone hated 4 years ago because of a certain incident in Colorado? KOBE BRYANT! Yes, just a few years ago LeBron was looking to take the torch from Kobe while also taking the crown of the most popular player in the league. Didn't quite happen as smoothly as I thought it would. Let's look at the WCW situation. What happened was Flair became the popular guy who the fans loved while Hogan was now hated. That sounds familiar. As soon as LeBron quit on the Cavs and Kobe won his 2nd straight title, he is now endeared by the league and the fans while LeBron is hated. Hogan/Flair comparison acceptable? I think so.
So what exactly am I saying? I'm not predicting that the NBA scenario will play out the same way it did with WCW (considering the WCW went out of business in 2001). I'm simply saying that the Heat are the nWo of the NBA, and that is not a bad thing. Why should we expect LeBron, Wade and Bosh to be the good guys? Maybe its more fun for people to hate them. That could be exactly what LeBron needed to light a fire under his ass. While everyone is hating on the Heat, I'm going to be sitting back and enjoying the show. Hopefully I'll be one of the few who is happy about the outcome of this NBA season.
Friday, July 23, 2010
A Golf Getaway
We're nearing the end of July and the NBA Free Agenct Frenzy is dying down, NFL is still over 1 month away, World Cup has concluded, and I still don't care about MLB. So, what else do I have to write about besides a golf getaway with my buddies Collin and Sam. Thinking, thinking... Nothing! So here is my second ever running diary, this time of the events that transpired at Stafford Country Club.
First, a little bit of information on my 2 opponents for this golf match. Collin is a terrific athlete, who happens to be very good at sports that he doesn't play for a team. He is one of the few people who have a chance of beating me in a best of seven series of ping pong. He is a great bowler (despite the fact that I beat him 2 times in Niagara Falls, which up to this point is the biggest sports upset of my life). He also happens to be a great volleyball player. Golfing is not one of his strong sports. 3 years ago Collin and I went golfing and the final tally ended up being Collin 80 over par, Sonny 84 over par. Yikes, Stevie Wonder and Stephen Hawking could've done better. Then we have Crosby (Sam) who has practically been golfing since he was in the womb. He is the reigning Section V class C sectionals champion and is a 3 time league all star. Needless to say, it was a race for third place. Here is what transpired on July 23rd at Stafford Country Club. Note to readers: The front screen of my phone is now all screwed up because I needed to put notes into my phone as we were golfing. You're all welcome.
8:00 a.m.- "Baby I like it, the way you move on the floor. Baby I like it, come on and give me some more. Oh yes I like it, screaming like never before, Baby I like it..." The alarm sounded and I wake up, thinkinhg why in the blue hell I would wake up so damn earlier to play a sport I suck at. I have an abundance of eye boogers, and a bladder full of pee. Why couldn't I still be sleeping?
8:15 a.m.- After I relieve my bladder, wipe the eye boogers off my face and brush my teeth, I'm finally a little awake. I see it has been raining and looks as if it is going to continue to rain. That's just super sweet!
8:30 a.m.- Collin arrives and shortly after Sam shows up. It's sprinkling outside, and Sam couldn't look happier. Of course my Mom has to take a picture before I go embarrass myself.
8:31 a.m.- As we walk to the car Sam asks us a stupid question. He is under the false assumption we have our own clubs. Apparently he didn't hear the memo about the 80 and 84 over par. He might not have asked us to come if he knew.
8:35 a.m.- We have to go to Sam's house to get clubs. We can't just use his because he is a lefty. We pick and choose from a wide range of clubs and finally assemble our golf bag.
8:55 a.m.- As we drive to Stafford, Sam is in his glory. He is spewing information about the course and just golf in general like a volcano spews lava. Needless to say, he is giddy.
9:00 a.m.- We arrive at Stafford. It's a good thing too, I was 3 minutes away from falling asleep in the car. It was gloomy outside, we were in a station wagon, and we were going golfing. There was nothing that would keep me from falling asleep except getting out of the car. I was wrong earlier about how Sam couldn't look happier, because this is the happiest I've ever seen him.
9:10 a.m.- We have a light sprinkle going on right now, I'm not complaining yet. Light sprinkle turns into a steady sprinkle, and Sam snubs me and Collin as he walks ahead of us with an umbrella. It's going to be one of those days. The kind of day where it's always raining on you, both literally and metaphorically.
9:12 a.m.- We arrive at the driving range to get loosey goosey before the real show starts. Sam is hitting the crap out of the ball, and Collin is ecstatic about his first 2 shots which travel roughly 35 yards combined. He might be in trouble.
9:16 a.m.- I'm doing some serious taunting to Collin because he looks awful driving the ball. He challenges me to do any better and I respond by hitting my best tee shot all day.
9:18 a.m.- Injury update: Sam tosses me a tee, and I accidently stab myself in the hand and blood starts dripping. We haven't even started playing yet and I already hurt myself. I tell myself this will be fun.
9:21 a.m.- We arrive at the first tee, and Sam slips the golf glove on. I'm still wondering whether he realizes how bad we are. Did he watch us warm up?
9:25 a.m.- BAM! My first shot lands right in the fairway... of the 9th hole. Can I quit now?
9:30 a.m.- I came up with a name for the 7 iron- the Viagara club. Sam told me that the purpose of hitting the ball with a 7 iron is to "get it up". You get it?
9:40 a.m.- Standings after hole 1: Sonny 9, Collin 13, Sam 4 (notice I just write the scores as if we were playing mini golf).
9:45 a.m.- Collin (while practice swinging): "You see that, I just tickled the tips." I can't decide whether that sounds cute or dirty.
10:00 a.m.- Standings after hole 2: Sonny 19, Collin 30, Sam 8. Yes you read that correctly, Collin shot a 17 on hole 2. I'd like someone to find out if that is the worst of all time.
10:02 a.m.- Collin is absolutely pumped after a 60 yard drive. It's almost like he got a hole in 1. Except the kind of hole in 1 for really bad players.
10:05 a.m.- As I'm about to tee off, the head on our driver falls off. I blame this on Collin. It was from all of the power he put on that 60 yard drive. We decide that the head of the driver will be used as the conch from "Lord of the Flies". Therefore, Sam is Piggy.
10:10 a.m.- Collin decides to "MJ it" by acting as the tee he is carrying is a cigar.
10:15 a.m.- Collin and I made a habit of swinging and hitting a large amount of grass along with the golf ball. That equals alot of divots. From 10:15 on, nearly every time this happens, we use the Space Jam quote, "He's fixing a divot!" So, that equaled out to about 1,232 times we said that.
10:25 a.m.- After Sam finishes up hole 4 and remains silent and focused. He is a stone cold killer right now.
10:26 a.m.- I set myself up for a long putt for par and hit it way too long. I end with a double bogey. Great.
10:38 a.m.- I'm about 100 yards away on the 5th, and I hit a nice one right up to the green. Unfortunately, in the process I almost hit Sam. After the hit I thought he would be fuming since he is in Stone Cold Killer mode, but surprisingly he chuckles.
10:50 a.m.- For almost 2 hours it has been raining with a vengeance. Thunder, lightning, sideways rain, stinging rain, the whole 9 yards. Collin decides that with the lack of shelter, it would be best to hide in a bush because then the lightning wouldn't see him. I think he was being serious.
10:55 a.m.- Somehow, Collin and I get off better tee shots on 6 than Sam did. That is a minor miracle in itself. Sam doesn't seem too happy about us reminding him of this.
11:05 a.m.- Only 2 holes after I blow a chance for par, Collin follows up with one of his own. Only he triple bogey's it. We are so good at golf its unbelievable.
11:10 a.m.- Collin "tickles the tips" once again. He attempts 7 swings and can't manage to make contact. If we where playing with rules where everytime he wiffed it counted, I would be winning by 150 strokes right now.
11:25 a.m.- As we are walking to our next hole, we pass a unique looking birdhouse which is nestled away in a tree. Collin decides it looks like a butthole. You can't make that stuff up.
11:40 a.m.- As Sam and I are watching Collin fan repeatedly while teeing off, he admits that we are the 2 worst golfers he's ever seen. Not really a surprise there, I could've told him we would be. Apparently he thought 80 and 84 over par was a myth.
11:45 a.m.- After nearly 3 hours of terrential downpour, it finally stops raining. It's too late, at this point my clothes are soaked and I've stepped in every single puddle there. I keep telling myself I'm enjoying this.
11:55 a.m.- We come to a hole where we tee off with a building (maybe the clubhouse) to our right. This has disaster written all over it. To go along with this, we have to clear a giant lake/puddle as well. I'm not feeling too confident, so I decide I'll just hit the ball as hard as I could. I closed my eyes, swung hard and shanked it. I nearly hit the clubhouse as people are watching from outside. Not my proudest sports moment.
12:10 p.m.- Luckily it starts downpouring again. I'm channeling my inner Happy Gilmore and going to my "happy place".
12:15 p.m.- As I lose my ball in a swampy body of water, we see a snake slithering around on the outskirts of the water. I'm rattled to say the least.
12:25 p.m.- Collin is on the comeback trail. I had an 8 stroke lead after the front 9. 2 holes later, my lead is cut to 5. The combination of the monsoon we are in, the snake, and my left big toe which feels like the skin is getting ripped off of it, I'm reeling.
12:26 p.m.- Collins zipper on his shorts refuses to stay up. I really had the desire to mention this.
12:37 p.m.- Collin shoots for par on 12, and makes up 4 strokes. I'm only up 1 stroke, and I'm on pace to end up getting whooped. I'm in panic mode.
12:45 p.m.- As we are walking down the fairway on 13, a tree tips over. I'm not even joking. I had been under a countless amount of trees so far in the day, and one tipped over about 50 feet away. It sounded like a crack of thunder. You know the phrase, "if a tree falls down and no one is around, does it make any noise?" It makes a really really loud noise.
12:50 p.m.- I'm really feeling like there is a massive blister on my left big toe. In fact, I'm fearing that the skin on it has completely ripped off. My game is being hindered no doubt.
1:10 p.m.- After the 15th, Collin has taken the lead. I'm falling faster than Lindsey Lohan's career in anything (music, movies, being a role model, etc.)
1:37 p.m.- I'm down 3 strokes going to the 18th, and all signs point to me combusting on the 18th. On 16 I miss a 5 foot putt that would have put me within 1 stroke. Meanwhile Sam is actually looking forward to this being over we are so bad.
1:44 p.m.- Maybe a little life left? Sam makes the rule that even on wiffs they count as strokes when previously they weren't. Collin has tickled the tips about 5 times on this hole alone. I'm taunting him mercilessly, and through 2 hits I'm in good position to maybe win this thing.
1:55 p.m.- Quoting Gus Johnson, "What a comeback!" I manage to win by 1 stroke. Initially I thought that my choke on the back 9 was the biggest choke of all time, but it turns out Collins choke on 18 was the worst. I feel like for the most part, my short game gave me the lead early, and my long game brought me back. I'm like the bizzaro world Happy Gilmore. Which means Collin is the bizzaro world Shooter McGavin, and Sam is the bizzaro world Chubbs Peterson. Thats funny because if you were looking for a polar opposite of Sam Lamont, it would be the actor who player Chubbs.
Final scores: Sam +6 (78), Sonny +80 (152), Collin +81 (153).
Burger King put the finishing touches on a wet, competitive and fun day. My feet are sore not only because they are so wet, but because Sam decided not to get us a golf cart. Like I said, he was a stone cold killer. A couple of closing thoughts on my day of golf:
We went way too early and it was stupid to continue playing when it was thundering and lightning. I was putting my precious life in danger for a game which I really didn't care at all about. I actually really like golfing though. I suck at it, and I won't ever deny that. I'm good at alot of things, and golf will most likely never be one of them. I plan on practicing as much as I feel necessary in order to get good enough to be able to play and not embarrass myself, because honestly I don't see why he would ever want to go golfing with Collin and I again. Frankly, if we have to golf this early and with these conditions, the feeling of not wanting to golf as a group would be mutual.
First, a little bit of information on my 2 opponents for this golf match. Collin is a terrific athlete, who happens to be very good at sports that he doesn't play for a team. He is one of the few people who have a chance of beating me in a best of seven series of ping pong. He is a great bowler (despite the fact that I beat him 2 times in Niagara Falls, which up to this point is the biggest sports upset of my life). He also happens to be a great volleyball player. Golfing is not one of his strong sports. 3 years ago Collin and I went golfing and the final tally ended up being Collin 80 over par, Sonny 84 over par. Yikes, Stevie Wonder and Stephen Hawking could've done better. Then we have Crosby (Sam) who has practically been golfing since he was in the womb. He is the reigning Section V class C sectionals champion and is a 3 time league all star. Needless to say, it was a race for third place. Here is what transpired on July 23rd at Stafford Country Club. Note to readers: The front screen of my phone is now all screwed up because I needed to put notes into my phone as we were golfing. You're all welcome.
8:00 a.m.- "Baby I like it, the way you move on the floor. Baby I like it, come on and give me some more. Oh yes I like it, screaming like never before, Baby I like it..." The alarm sounded and I wake up, thinkinhg why in the blue hell I would wake up so damn earlier to play a sport I suck at. I have an abundance of eye boogers, and a bladder full of pee. Why couldn't I still be sleeping?
8:15 a.m.- After I relieve my bladder, wipe the eye boogers off my face and brush my teeth, I'm finally a little awake. I see it has been raining and looks as if it is going to continue to rain. That's just super sweet!
8:30 a.m.- Collin arrives and shortly after Sam shows up. It's sprinkling outside, and Sam couldn't look happier. Of course my Mom has to take a picture before I go embarrass myself.
8:31 a.m.- As we walk to the car Sam asks us a stupid question. He is under the false assumption we have our own clubs. Apparently he didn't hear the memo about the 80 and 84 over par. He might not have asked us to come if he knew.
8:35 a.m.- We have to go to Sam's house to get clubs. We can't just use his because he is a lefty. We pick and choose from a wide range of clubs and finally assemble our golf bag.
8:55 a.m.- As we drive to Stafford, Sam is in his glory. He is spewing information about the course and just golf in general like a volcano spews lava. Needless to say, he is giddy.
9:00 a.m.- We arrive at Stafford. It's a good thing too, I was 3 minutes away from falling asleep in the car. It was gloomy outside, we were in a station wagon, and we were going golfing. There was nothing that would keep me from falling asleep except getting out of the car. I was wrong earlier about how Sam couldn't look happier, because this is the happiest I've ever seen him.
9:10 a.m.- We have a light sprinkle going on right now, I'm not complaining yet. Light sprinkle turns into a steady sprinkle, and Sam snubs me and Collin as he walks ahead of us with an umbrella. It's going to be one of those days. The kind of day where it's always raining on you, both literally and metaphorically.
9:12 a.m.- We arrive at the driving range to get loosey goosey before the real show starts. Sam is hitting the crap out of the ball, and Collin is ecstatic about his first 2 shots which travel roughly 35 yards combined. He might be in trouble.
9:16 a.m.- I'm doing some serious taunting to Collin because he looks awful driving the ball. He challenges me to do any better and I respond by hitting my best tee shot all day.
9:18 a.m.- Injury update: Sam tosses me a tee, and I accidently stab myself in the hand and blood starts dripping. We haven't even started playing yet and I already hurt myself. I tell myself this will be fun.
9:21 a.m.- We arrive at the first tee, and Sam slips the golf glove on. I'm still wondering whether he realizes how bad we are. Did he watch us warm up?
9:25 a.m.- BAM! My first shot lands right in the fairway... of the 9th hole. Can I quit now?
9:30 a.m.- I came up with a name for the 7 iron- the Viagara club. Sam told me that the purpose of hitting the ball with a 7 iron is to "get it up". You get it?
9:40 a.m.- Standings after hole 1: Sonny 9, Collin 13, Sam 4 (notice I just write the scores as if we were playing mini golf).
9:45 a.m.- Collin (while practice swinging): "You see that, I just tickled the tips." I can't decide whether that sounds cute or dirty.
10:00 a.m.- Standings after hole 2: Sonny 19, Collin 30, Sam 8. Yes you read that correctly, Collin shot a 17 on hole 2. I'd like someone to find out if that is the worst of all time.
10:02 a.m.- Collin is absolutely pumped after a 60 yard drive. It's almost like he got a hole in 1. Except the kind of hole in 1 for really bad players.
10:05 a.m.- As I'm about to tee off, the head on our driver falls off. I blame this on Collin. It was from all of the power he put on that 60 yard drive. We decide that the head of the driver will be used as the conch from "Lord of the Flies". Therefore, Sam is Piggy.
10:10 a.m.- Collin decides to "MJ it" by acting as the tee he is carrying is a cigar.
10:15 a.m.- Collin and I made a habit of swinging and hitting a large amount of grass along with the golf ball. That equals alot of divots. From 10:15 on, nearly every time this happens, we use the Space Jam quote, "He's fixing a divot!" So, that equaled out to about 1,232 times we said that.
10:25 a.m.- After Sam finishes up hole 4 and remains silent and focused. He is a stone cold killer right now.
10:26 a.m.- I set myself up for a long putt for par and hit it way too long. I end with a double bogey. Great.
10:38 a.m.- I'm about 100 yards away on the 5th, and I hit a nice one right up to the green. Unfortunately, in the process I almost hit Sam. After the hit I thought he would be fuming since he is in Stone Cold Killer mode, but surprisingly he chuckles.
10:50 a.m.- For almost 2 hours it has been raining with a vengeance. Thunder, lightning, sideways rain, stinging rain, the whole 9 yards. Collin decides that with the lack of shelter, it would be best to hide in a bush because then the lightning wouldn't see him. I think he was being serious.
10:55 a.m.- Somehow, Collin and I get off better tee shots on 6 than Sam did. That is a minor miracle in itself. Sam doesn't seem too happy about us reminding him of this.
11:05 a.m.- Only 2 holes after I blow a chance for par, Collin follows up with one of his own. Only he triple bogey's it. We are so good at golf its unbelievable.
11:10 a.m.- Collin "tickles the tips" once again. He attempts 7 swings and can't manage to make contact. If we where playing with rules where everytime he wiffed it counted, I would be winning by 150 strokes right now.
11:25 a.m.- As we are walking to our next hole, we pass a unique looking birdhouse which is nestled away in a tree. Collin decides it looks like a butthole. You can't make that stuff up.
11:40 a.m.- As Sam and I are watching Collin fan repeatedly while teeing off, he admits that we are the 2 worst golfers he's ever seen. Not really a surprise there, I could've told him we would be. Apparently he thought 80 and 84 over par was a myth.
11:45 a.m.- After nearly 3 hours of terrential downpour, it finally stops raining. It's too late, at this point my clothes are soaked and I've stepped in every single puddle there. I keep telling myself I'm enjoying this.
11:55 a.m.- We come to a hole where we tee off with a building (maybe the clubhouse) to our right. This has disaster written all over it. To go along with this, we have to clear a giant lake/puddle as well. I'm not feeling too confident, so I decide I'll just hit the ball as hard as I could. I closed my eyes, swung hard and shanked it. I nearly hit the clubhouse as people are watching from outside. Not my proudest sports moment.
12:10 p.m.- Luckily it starts downpouring again. I'm channeling my inner Happy Gilmore and going to my "happy place".
12:15 p.m.- As I lose my ball in a swampy body of water, we see a snake slithering around on the outskirts of the water. I'm rattled to say the least.
12:25 p.m.- Collin is on the comeback trail. I had an 8 stroke lead after the front 9. 2 holes later, my lead is cut to 5. The combination of the monsoon we are in, the snake, and my left big toe which feels like the skin is getting ripped off of it, I'm reeling.
12:26 p.m.- Collins zipper on his shorts refuses to stay up. I really had the desire to mention this.
12:37 p.m.- Collin shoots for par on 12, and makes up 4 strokes. I'm only up 1 stroke, and I'm on pace to end up getting whooped. I'm in panic mode.
12:45 p.m.- As we are walking down the fairway on 13, a tree tips over. I'm not even joking. I had been under a countless amount of trees so far in the day, and one tipped over about 50 feet away. It sounded like a crack of thunder. You know the phrase, "if a tree falls down and no one is around, does it make any noise?" It makes a really really loud noise.
12:50 p.m.- I'm really feeling like there is a massive blister on my left big toe. In fact, I'm fearing that the skin on it has completely ripped off. My game is being hindered no doubt.
1:10 p.m.- After the 15th, Collin has taken the lead. I'm falling faster than Lindsey Lohan's career in anything (music, movies, being a role model, etc.)
1:37 p.m.- I'm down 3 strokes going to the 18th, and all signs point to me combusting on the 18th. On 16 I miss a 5 foot putt that would have put me within 1 stroke. Meanwhile Sam is actually looking forward to this being over we are so bad.
1:44 p.m.- Maybe a little life left? Sam makes the rule that even on wiffs they count as strokes when previously they weren't. Collin has tickled the tips about 5 times on this hole alone. I'm taunting him mercilessly, and through 2 hits I'm in good position to maybe win this thing.
1:55 p.m.- Quoting Gus Johnson, "What a comeback!" I manage to win by 1 stroke. Initially I thought that my choke on the back 9 was the biggest choke of all time, but it turns out Collins choke on 18 was the worst. I feel like for the most part, my short game gave me the lead early, and my long game brought me back. I'm like the bizzaro world Happy Gilmore. Which means Collin is the bizzaro world Shooter McGavin, and Sam is the bizzaro world Chubbs Peterson. Thats funny because if you were looking for a polar opposite of Sam Lamont, it would be the actor who player Chubbs.
Final scores: Sam +6 (78), Sonny +80 (152), Collin +81 (153).
Burger King put the finishing touches on a wet, competitive and fun day. My feet are sore not only because they are so wet, but because Sam decided not to get us a golf cart. Like I said, he was a stone cold killer. A couple of closing thoughts on my day of golf:
We went way too early and it was stupid to continue playing when it was thundering and lightning. I was putting my precious life in danger for a game which I really didn't care at all about. I actually really like golfing though. I suck at it, and I won't ever deny that. I'm good at alot of things, and golf will most likely never be one of them. I plan on practicing as much as I feel necessary in order to get good enough to be able to play and not embarrass myself, because honestly I don't see why he would ever want to go golfing with Collin and I again. Frankly, if we have to golf this early and with these conditions, the feeling of not wanting to golf as a group would be mutual.
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